Yet again, I find myself at my computer at 430am with the lights out and staring at my screen, thinking about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...yeah, i just let that one ramble like that. There's a few things we need to get clear, things I mention on my MySpace blogs but havent mentioned here. What I am about to say is my opinion and it reflects on everything around me...the people i know, the places ive been, the experiences ive experienced. Judge harsh or dont judge, thats up to you. If you want to debate, i welcome it...but if you want to debate, no emotions can take place, you must keep an open mind and heart...the act of debating commands that you not only stand for what you believe, but to accept and respect the thoughts of your opponent. With that said, here goes the ramblings of this user.

I came across a couple people that claimed they had an inner child. I was delighted to meet these people because i believed they truly possessed a playful heart. Yet almost as soon as I was glad to meet them, I disliked them completely. They lied without knowing it and worse, they completely, and emotionally stood by their words. They claimed they had an inner child yet they were trying to please and make proud their family, friends, themselves, etc...First and foremost, I don't give a shit who you are or where you come from...You cannot have an inner child unless you have grown up. Only when you have grown up can you develop an inner child. What does it mean to grow up? STOP TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE PROUD OF YOU! You grow up when you come to the realization that you and you alone are going to proceed through your life to the end. Sure, there will be a significant other along the way, but in the end, you leave this fucking planet the same way you arrived...alone. So its up to you and you alone to make the best of things and live life the way you fucking want it. Then there's going to be the occassional assfuck who says "Oh, but my parents pay for college." So fucking what? You gonna be a Jew and bow to your Hitler? No! You're gonna be a Colonial and fight for your freedom! "Oh but my parents will kick me out!" Boo fucking hoo! Theyre your parents...if they love you, theyll support you, hesitantly or graciously. Its their choice to respect and support, or ignore and support. Thats the bottom fucking line.

Next topic. What is the deal with these books apparently able to teach parents about their adolescent teen?okay...that draws the fucking line with me. How the fuck to these arrogant assholes come out with shit like this thinking they know what the fuck is going on in a teenage mind? I gurantee you that you wouldnt have found a single shred of anything that was in my mind in any of those books. "Oh but they did research on groups of teens." And? So fucking what? Thats called generalizing, the most evil word in the realm of the human psyche. People die because some asshole decided to generalize a certain problem in the mind of a teenager. And what's worse, when theyre teen does something to hurt themselves or others, parents keep asking the same fucking questions: "Why?" "Why did they do that?" "What did we do wrong?" AH! Thats the million dollar question! What did you do wrong?! YOU FUCKED UP AS A PARENT YOU DUMB ASSHOLE! But nooooo....they gotta find something else to blame! Oh, video games are responsible...rap music is degenerative....movies are too violent.....FUCK YOU! STOP TRYING TO PIN THIS ON SOMETHING COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT AND TAKE THE FUCKING BLAME! if you blame the video games, why were they playing it in the first place? if you blame the music, then why were they listening to it? if you blame the movies, why were they watching it? DUH! you let them fucking do it! idiots...be a responsible parent! and im gonna fucking bet, these are the idiot parents who dont want to deal with the problems...instead they pawn off the kid to some trained doctor to tell them what im about to tell you. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD! AND DONT FUCKING TELL THEM YOU WENT THROUGH THE SAME FUCKING THING! thats not what they need! they need to vent, not listen to a fucking story about how "I was once young too..." blah blah bullshit BLAH! Im telling this from personal experience. i needed someone to just listen and not fucking talk, but nooooo....all the adults i tried talking to kept using the whole "i was once young...." bullshit. JUST FUCKING LISTEN AND DONT TALK BACK!

Last topic. I think i touched on this subject before. Guys like me always finish last. Why does that happen? Ill fully and openly admit that im not a looker. But am I a nice guy....haha, most of the time. the whole ramble up there ^ is just an uncensored response to shit ive seen, heard, and experienced. but overall, i try to be a nice guy. the only drugs im on are nicotine, caffeine, and life. oh and sometimes food, which is why im not such a looker. But why does my love of good food have to be my worst enemy? i love the grill and i love the oven. but why must i choose between so many things? is it not true that its what inside that counts? okay, im asking questions when i should be making statements. but these are questions that have plagued me for 12 years. literally 12 years. and im not fucking joking about that!

well, i think thats enough for a ramble. and opinions, retorts, debates...just leave a comment. oh, and like i said before...if you read my blog, gimme an answer of some kind. dont be some arrogant asshole who hides like a coward in the dark. you dont cast a fucking vote, you dont get a fucking say...

PEACE!

its been over a year since my last entry. i completely forgot i had this thing until i got a spam message from some girl here with a link that would most likely direct me to some porm site that would give me a virus that would crash my computer which would piss me off to hell and back which would ruin my day which would piss me off to death...im a bit tired so i end up rambling some weird shit out for no apparent reason. dont ask me why.

so FYI, im still at Brooks Institute of Photography and still goin strong. I got a year left there. Im partially excited and partially saddened by the fact that im gonna be leaving the school so soon. as hard as the program is, im definitely gonna miss my friends. hopefully, a few of us will keep in touch. theres a couple people i would really hate to lose touch with.

anyway, i may be coming back here and there to update. im on Facebook more now...i kinda gave up my MySpace. and i am so not going onto Twitter...<--but i may crack and join...but not yet.

PEACE!

My god, the last entry i made in this was during my first session at Brooks. I'm now coming to the end of my third. It's almost time for XMAS break. I get three weeks off. Technically 2, and the 3rd is prep week, but most of those assignments take like and hour to do. So yeah, I count 3 weeks. It makes it sound like more.

As you can see the time, it's coming close to 2am. I should be asleep since im driving back to SB tomorrow morning. I need to get back before 11am so I can upload images to a server. If I dont get them in on time, I might be able to get them to the teacher directly, but it's a slimi chance. So Im leaving LA at around 8am. I may hit some morning traffic, but Im not worried. Ive done that time before and made it to SB at around 10am plus change. I just need to get the images in order now.

As you can see, Im procrastinating that. So I bid you adieu and maybe Ill type something when break starts.

PEACE!